Artec's Unstable Nursery Rhymes

[bois]

Hey all. I normally don't make these kind of posts but due to request I am going to post some humourous rhymes (hopefully). I been making them up over free time and have quite a few now. I call them Artec's Unstable Nursery Rhymes.

I'll post some. Hope you find it funny.

#1
Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick ,
Jack meet mob,
Jack give Kick.
Jack show timing Jack show skill,
Jack learn Ganker arrow quicker still.

#2
Little Johnny Hunter sat in a corner in camo in Samal tower.
He tried to cap,
but his fate was sealed when he got revealed,
and now he is teabag fodder.

#3
There was this little boy who made a clan,
Despite his efforts he could join no one.
So he made a female avatar,
claimed boobies, free cyber and dressed her in risqué attire
His clan named "peep show" is now the realm's desire

#4
HA HA Old dirty barb is dead we shall see him no more,
Wait, no one told me they had 6 conjus in the fort before.
A brave lock says he shall cremate him before he can rise,
Tell that to the 5 barbs right behind him blessed with DI.

#6
Baa Haa Commerce chat have you any Lizard scales?
No I dont't but we have a lot of rodent tails.
Do you have any Knight Leggs?
Nope but somebody just dropped Goho's head.
I am looking for moonstones,
Sure we have, for one hundered thousand gold.
You must be mad out your head,
Ok so you trade magnanite instead ?
No I won't it's too expensive,
Hey , no need to get defensive.
Selling grind drops, I got staves,
Omg those are so bad even the NPC's won't pay.
But I'll take them for my noob lock,
O wait I can't I am overburdended with golem rocks.
Hey I want those gaunts, anyone there?
Seems he posted and went out the gate I fear.
Anyway no matter I must depart,
only 10 seconds to a server restart.

[Tenel_Ka]

hahah, made me laugh, and I really needed that. I hope to see more!

[Orimae]

LOL awesome Arty... bring them on!!!

This place could really use a few lol´s , thanks Arty

[Wield_II]

More please ;p

[_Kharbon_]

I actualy laughed sincerely on this, not sarcasticaly as on rest of the forum.
Thanks and a +1 from me

[Awrath]

Ah, made me chuckle, I like! Look forward to some more!!

[bois]

Okay , here are a few more :

#5
Mary Hunter had a little girl hyena ,
its fur was brown and furry,
Every where that Mary went the hyena followed in a hurry.
When in the field what did Mary spy?
A treasure no less, O what joy!
As she knelt over to pick it up,
She learned the hyena was a boy.

#7
Five little Noobs at rest,
Sat at their CS
They were there all day,
pretending to be AFK.
There came a message from a GC,
claiming free boosters of XP
And the fakes suddenly became awake.

#8
Twenty little knights stood in a row,
Tenax respawned didn't you know?
Many areas and auras they did make
Funny when a Marks using retialiate,
the ammy did take.

#9
Billy Billy , come with us to gank,
XP booster is on , lots at Orc camp.
Polly ,Polly so I will
But first I must reskill.
Billy Billy , They have a conju there!
I have confuse five so Polly you need not fear.
Billy Billy I have been slowed,
Sorry Polly I have Camo five so you are on your own.
Billy Billy, for sure you jest?
Polly Polly,I love you yes,
but next time we meet will probably be at our CS.

#10
As I was going to Herb fort,
I met a barb with 2 conju escorts.
For each conju there were 2 locks
for every lock I recieved one Knock.
For each knock I got a dizzy,
one guy froze me just to be silly.
How many were going to Herb fort ?
Certainly not me, I was cremated on the spot.

[bois]

I ended the series because work picked up (so less time to write crap). I will post the remainder. Hope it entertains someone :P

#11
Old Barb Gore,
Was a serious drop whore,
and a serious drop whore was he.
He got rings and amulets, traded armour and swords.
Got as much bling as he could afford.
For all the items he did horde,
He still got regularly pawned.
He had to swallow a bitter pill,
For when he went to war,
he forgot to take skill.

#12
Hush a bye baby atop the save altar,
You died and crashed so you may falter.
If you move an inch you will fall,
five percent necro that is all.

#13
Around Eferias Castle the grass grows green,
Where all the beautiful lady elves can be seen.
Watch them dance with seductive eyes,
Be careful though, 99% of them are actually guys.

#14
Junior, ride your turkey to the land where trees are gone,
You might see a lady riding a white unicorn.
Rings on her fingers, amulet round her neck
She is an OP marks so if she sees you, you are probably dead.

#15
A little noob grinder stood near a dead tree,
Danced a strange dance very freely.
Some how, it looked like he was stifling a pee.
A naughty archer came with his wee arrow and bow,
Determined to put an end to that strange show.

"I shall get XP I wager, more than a few.
If I am lucky he counts for my quest too!"
"Oh no" said the little noob, "I have nothing to fear"
"I guess you didn't notice
the level 60 Marks and Barb hiding behind that rock over there"

#16
Oh dear what can the matter be?
Timmy said he would gift the Ximerin at three.
Oh well Maybe I shouldn't be so hard
Maybe Timmy got caught stealing his mum's credit card.
That Timmy is quite some friend,
Actually getting caught because of me again.
Oh well I will have to make do with the 50k Xim I scored,
From begging Paul, Harry, Mikey, Sarah and Maude.

#17
Red dye within and Blue dye without,
I look like spider man without a doubt.
Only one issue with which I must contend,
My friends keep asking,
"When will your smoking of the crack end?"

[bois]

last ones.

#18
Little Lamai blue come blow your horn,
The enemy is getting away and I have def Support on.
By the way,
Where has the little Knight with the beacons gone?
He left for the enemy outnumber us six to one!
Besides, didn't you know ? Tenax just spawned !
The general bowed and sighed,
for he knew for war to happen, the dragon must die.
Anyway He knew slaying the beast was a boon,
for the blues would show up at Meni soon.

#19
Boo whoo what shall I do?
I can barely maintain my characters two.
"Well then" says Grasping Shen. I've got ten.
One for the dragon , one for gold,
One to shoot people from beyond the 50m zone.
One is a bank where my things sit,
Another one to troll people with.
I have my main which I play all the time,
the other 4 are spies behind enemy lines.

#20
My, oh my what have we in store?
400 seconds before they launch hot fix number four.
I heard they launch a new turtle mount,
and new costumes that look like Dracula the count.
Anti lag scrolls, padded damage absorbers,
One guy claimed he saw arrows that shoot around corners.
I did not believe and thought it was a fake,
For The developers stated that this was a balance update!

I re-logged and couldn't believe what I saw,
They gave deafening roar 10 seconds more!
Looking at defensive stance I became quite red,
Rather than being slowed I walked in reverse instead.
Thankfully ethereal arrow now made the marks shoot himself in the head.
Hunters got a new power, one I saw with much regret,
For they could now hump their pets.
Conjus could launch Meteors , Locks could heal I would find,
Wow, My Knight can shoot lightning bolts from its behind!
One of my auras had a strange effect to my surprise,
When I cast it a flashy disco ball would rise,
and In the background would start playing "Staying Alive"
While standing in the chaos wondering if I would survive,
up pops a message, "Server shutting down for hotfix number five..."

#21
One, two knock him through,
Three, four use South cross for sure
five, six, normal licks
seven, eight, he should be rezzing at the gate.
Need nine , ten ?
He is likely a Knight then.

#22
When the snow is on the ground,
Alsius highlands you have found.
If the snow you fell in is very yellow,
Dare I say you are an unlucky fellow.
If I were you I would walk with care,
For Alsarians sure love drinking beer.

#23

Georgy Porgy kissed a guy and made him cry.
Dare I say I wonder why?
Was Georgy Porgy gay ? No, it was Valentine's Day.
So the event was set,
run up and kiss people you never met.
The little cherubs shot arrows straight and true,
that made you kiss your hit chance adieu.
The only way to recover, was to kiss your brother.
If your brother or friend was not near,
kiss any stranger who happens to appear.
If this is how things work in the office I declare,
I am really happy I don't work there.

#24

Magnanites hot , Magnanite cold,
Magnanites poached from the noob zone.
Ten thousand gold I must charge,
Sadly, I am a knight and repairs are large.
Buy them all if you are a friend,
Else to the swamp I must go, naked grinding again.

#25
Daen Rha, Evendim and Thorkul had a conference call,
To decide which one of them was the baddest of all.
Daen Rha claimed inpenetrable armour,
Eve said he drained people's mana.
Both then looked at Thorkul standing so still
Wondering if they were so awesome they crushed his will.
Thorky replied,"I was not even competing with you youngsters,
Don't you guys realise I am just the dick of a much larger monster?"

Regards.

[Orimae]

Awesome!