Euro-English

[Pizdzius]

English in Europe

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English.'

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w'with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united Urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

[-Edge-]

Hahaha great joke! Did you come up with that one yourself ?

[Pizdzius]

Nah, got it forwarded but it's so exquisite I just had to spread it here

[Envy]

Haha! That's fantastic

[-Edge-]

its hilarious, I sent it to all my E-Mail contacts

[phoenix_jackson]

OMG this is soo freaking funny.

A little reply. It was an ad but I can't find the vid:

"Hello, zis is German Coast Guard"
"We're sinking. I repeat, WE ARE SINKING!"
"W-what are you zinking about?"

[ArcticWolf]

Originally Posted by aardvak2669

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

This sounds like German when you read it with Spanish pronunctiation. :P

[Pizdzius]

Originally Posted by Xephandor

This sounds like German when you read it with Spanish pronunctiation. :P

or german. Or polish :P

[-Paradox-]

Originally Posted by aardvak2669

English in Europe

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English.'

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

I started to get excited reading this, then the rest followed and realised it was a joke

[phoenix_jackson]

Originally Posted by -Paradox-

I started to get excited reading this, then the rest followed and realised it was a joke

Vi hev e vinur!!