I lol'd

[theotherhiveking]

Look what i found in Slashdot.

I once had a user call because he "couldn't get into his e-mail." After about half an hour of being stonewalled on the phone, it turns out that:
1. He couldn't load his e-mail because he couldn't run his e-mail application.
2. He couldn't run his e-mail application because he couldn't run windows.
3. He couldn't run windows because his computer wouldn't turn on.
4. His computer wouldn't turn on because he had yanked out the previous motherboard, stuck in a new one (without a CPU, of course), and just assumed everything would work.
5. Seeing as how this was painfully stupid, he didn't actually tell the tech support this for fear that the tech support would figure out what he had done wrong.
6. And, instead of calling the hardware manufacturer's help line, he called his ISP.
My second favorite tech support call was a user who was having trouble getting online, and no matter how many settings we changed nothing seemed to fix it. "Hardware problem" you suggest? Yup. Over the weekend someone had bulldozed the wall with her network jack.
No matter how bad things might get at my current job, at least I'm not doing tech support.

[Shiriki]

Haha! Yes, some people can be really stupid!

And I thought that it was much when my parents ask me how to upload a file in an e-mail...

[Nikor]

I did some tech support a few years ago, but I was lucky that it was just company internal, which has some benefits. After some time you get to know your users, and that helps a lot. And you can yell back at them if necessary without having to fear that you're losing a customer. But after that time, I know all these stories are true.

Here's some of mine, not that spectacular, but maybe good for a smile.

The Password Reset
Caller (unknown voice): Hi! Can you reset my password?
Me: Of course -
Caller: Thanks! (click)
Me: ?
For those who don't get it, he didn't even give me the chance to ask for his username.

I can't check my e-mail!
I got a call from one of our smaller remote sites, a user complained he couldn't check his e-mail. Much like the first post, that was not the real problem. Turns out he couldn't log into windows at all since the computer wouldn't turn on in the first place. So I asked him to try another computer, but that didn't work either. By that time I had tried pinging about everything there, no response, not even from the router.
Me: Well, that's strange, I don't get anything over at your site.
Caller: Um, we have a power outage here, you think it might have something to do with that?
Me: Head -> desk

It's not printing!
I got a call that a printer is not printing. I did the usual tests, the printer is online and printing a test page seems to work. But according to the caller, it didn't come out. So I went over the the other building where the printer was located, sitting on a cupboard with the back to a wall. I used the printer's controls to print a test page again, and I heard it printing all right, no paper jam or anything, but the page just didn't come out. So, I checked the printer, all the covers, until I noticed the back cover was missing, which caused all printouts to come out at the back -- and fall into the space between the cupboard and the wall. Which by then was filled almost to the top with paper. After some searching around in the office I found the back cover and reattached it: problem solved. Of course, nobody present knew anything about how that happened.

[Neliel_]

You have no idea of it unless you worked in tech support for an ISP... But hey, in the 2 examples above, the tech messed up in some way.

First case, always asking if the computer is turned on once the customer informs us about his problem. Most people are calling because they can't surf without booting their computer before calling

Second case and if it's DSL, check if there is a PPP session, the 2nd thing to check is basic connectivity, hard (wires) then soft (ping to the modem/router at least).

Geez so many people calling for such stuff while some others have "real" problems

[Kianoni]

This happened in 99 I think..

One of our company's server crashed weekly and we started to investigate it. We really couldn't find a reason why, we checked logs, done everything to find out the cause
- but then we noticed it always happens regularly at the same time and it was not working hours.
So we get to the office to see if there's a physical cause for the crashing.
Turned out to be the cleaner plugging the server out from the ups.. so she can use a vacuum cleaner

[Ulti19]

Originally Posted by theotherhiveking

I was working in warranties for a large computer manufacturer, mostly with businesses but a few individuals came through on the line here and there.) Me: “Thank you for calling ***. How can I help you?”
Customer: “My computer don’t work.”
Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. Can I get the serial number off of your CPU?”
Customer: “My what?”
Me: “The computer tower.”
Customer: “Huh?”
(I’ll spare you the agony but, I went on for about 3 more minutes trying to describe the CPU and getting nowhere.)
Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t seem to be expressing myself well today. Can you describe to me all the computer parts on your desk? I’ll tell you which one the number I need is on.”
Customer: “It’s just a keyboard and a screen, like any other computer.”
Me: “Oh, you have a laptop!”
Customer: “A what?”
Me: “A little computer you can take with you. The keyboard and screen fold together with a hinge in the middle, right?”
Customer: “No, I don’t! I don’t know what is wrong with you computer people today. First the sales guy tries to sell me a bunch of sh*t I don’t need in this big box package and now you don’t even know what a computer is! Brand new today and it don’t even work.”
Me: “So…you just bought a keyboard and a monitor?”
Customer: “What’d I need all the rest uh’ that sh*t in the box for? This was way cheaper! I ain’t stupid!”
Me: “…”

HAHAHAHA omg plus 1 to this story, made my day

[Znurre]

Originally Posted by theotherhiveking

I was working in warranties for a large computer manufacturer, mostly with businesses but a few individuals came through on the line here and there.) Me: “Thank you for calling ***. How can I help you?”
Customer: “My computer don’t work.”
Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. Can I get the serial number off of your CPU?”
Customer: “My what?”
Me: “The computer tower.”
Customer: “Huh?”
(I’ll spare you the agony but, I went on for about 3 more minutes trying to describe the CPU and getting nowhere.)
Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t seem to be expressing myself well today. Can you describe to me all the computer parts on your desk? I’ll tell you which one the number I need is on.”
Customer: “It’s just a keyboard and a screen, like any other computer.”
Me: “Oh, you have a laptop!”
Customer: “A what?”
Me: “A little computer you can take with you. The keyboard and screen fold together with a hinge in the middle, right?”
Customer: “No, I don’t! I don’t know what is wrong with you computer people today. First the sales guy tries to sell me a bunch of sh*t I don’t need in this big box package and now you don’t even know what a computer is! Brand new today and it don’t even work.”
Me: “So…you just bought a keyboard and a monitor?”
Customer: “What’d I need all the rest uh’ that sh*t in the box for? This was way cheaper! I ain’t stupid!”
Me: “…”

Only I who gets deeply disturbed by the fact that the tech support keeps saying "CPU" for the actual computer?

[Mbwana]

rofl.