The Regnum Sagas

JainFarstrider · 10-24-2010, 02:43 AM

Been working on this for a while, still not sure if I'm going continue this or not, it mostly depends on what feedback I get from this. Anyways, this is the start of a story set in the Regnum world and based on Terry Pratchett's writing style and humor. Please keep this thread clean, no swearing \0/. That said I hope you enjoy reading it.

Regards, JainFarstrider

Death comes fast in the far off land of Regnum. Especially since he got a new motorcycle.
In-fact, just at this moment he was on his way to pay a visit to a particular dwarf living in Montsognir City. This dwarf was the stereo typical type of dwarf with a big beard, a big belly, a big grin, and a big instrument of destruction most commonly used for cracking peoples heads open. He did have a name, although no one could ever remember it let alone himself, so he would always answer to a 'hey you' or a 'whatchamacallum' or sometimes a small grunting noise made in the back of the throat. He even answered to Dilbert (although that's a story in itself). Currently Watchamacallum Dilbert was on his death bead explaining how great he felt to his good friend Valithor.
"I don't get this dying business Valithor,"
"Not many people do."
"No no, I don't mean that, I mean why does it have to be so bloomin slow!? I've just about changed my mind about dying and Death hasn't even arrived yet!"
"Well he has had a busy schedule lately," Valithor pointed out, "I heard the McThorklesons lost five this morning."
"Well I don't think it's very fair. I've had enough of living, I just want to die and go to Valhala, or some place with plenty of beer."
"That reminds me, what are you going to do about your son Jippy?"
"Haven't you heard? He's to take my place in The Clan."
"He what!? Not just anyone can join The Clan you know!"
"Of course, but in chapter six section 4 of The Clan handbook it states that a member of the clan may pass on his membership to a relation upon his death."
"Sounds fishy, but--" There was a knock at the door.
"Well," Said Watchamacallum Dilbert, "send my best wishes to the rest of The Clan."
And that was that.

The tavern in Skolhiem was like any other tavern in Alsius. By that I mean that it was the very definition of chaos, rather grimy, and selling beer by the keg. Jippy attempted to maneuver his way through the mass of sweaty bodies and balance a tray loaded with enough alcohol to knock out a goat. After he finished his "rounds", he arrived at a table cranking out volume at a level of it's own. Occupying the table were two characters, quite opposite in appearance, huddling over what appeared to be some form of dice. The first was a dwarf who's shortness harmonized with his overall roundness and completed the effect with a brown colored beard and ugly ponytail. He looked like someone you would see on the front of an Alsius sportswear magazine holding one of Syrtis' gems. The second was an Uthgar, also more commonly known as a goat. He appeared to be some distant relative of Chewbacca with horns and on steroids. Jippy was sure he had muscles no one had ever heard of before, or wanted to think about while eating dinner. Jippy chucked three mugs onto the table and sat down.
He was met by two anticipating stares.
"Alright," Jippy sighed, "what did you guys bet on this time?"
"Bwahaha pay up Torin." The hulking Uthgar exclaimed. Torin Ironfist grudgingly dished out two-hundred quid.
"Wait, lemme guess..." said Jippy. "Big Phil bet that I would ask you what you guys bet on, and Torin bet that--"
"You would say how much you hated Skolhiem, yup, you got it." Torin cut in. "So what's crackin'? Did you get yelled at by Glug Spuffin again today?"
"You know I heard that in taverns in the big cities like Birka they have bouncers for the waiters." Big Phil commented.
"Hey, I know! Big Phil could act as your own personal body guard while he's not working." Torin Ironfist beamed.
"That's what got me into trouble in the first place idiot."
"Oh... yeah... Haha, now I remember! That was great fun, I heard that was one of the biggest tavern fights since the third age of the Empire!" Jippy didn't hear. He was watching Glug Spuffin the innkeeper talk to a dwarf that looked too high-class to be in Skolhiem. Glug Spuffin turned and pointed in Jippy's direction. Jippy had a feeling that something had just happened that would change everything.

Raideniza · 10-24-2010, 12:32 PM

cool story bro.

IgnisGlomp · 10-27-2010, 04:17 AM

Haha nice story

You should definitely write a second chapter!

jpboisjolie · 10-30-2010, 02:26 AM

Very interesting style, I would like to see more...

Keep up the good work,

Jippy · 11-02-2010, 01:37 AM

ty for the mention in ur story - plz write a second chapter

Klutu · 11-02-2010, 02:07 AM

Jippy your Famous! ;D

Good Story looking forward to a second chapter

Jippy · 11-02-2010, 02:57 AM

"Jippy your Famous! ;D"

I have no idea why... not like I have a 100k RP

10-24-2010, 02:43 AM	#1
JainFarstrider Initiate Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Where the internet is bad Posts: 119	The Regnum Sagas Been working on this for a while, still not sure if I'm going continue this or not, it mostly depends on what feedback I get from this. Anyways, this is the start of a story set in the Regnum world and based on Terry Pratchett's writing style and humor. Please keep this thread clean, no swearing \0/. That said I hope you enjoy reading it. Regards, JainFarstrider Death comes fast in the far off land of Regnum. Especially since he got a new motorcycle. In-fact, just at this moment he was on his way to pay a visit to a particular dwarf living in Montsognir City. This dwarf was the stereo typical type of dwarf with a big beard, a big belly, a big grin, and a big instrument of destruction most commonly used for cracking peoples heads open. He did have a name, although no one could ever remember it let alone himself, so he would always answer to a 'hey you' or a 'whatchamacallum' or sometimes a small grunting noise made in the back of the throat. He even answered to Dilbert (although that's a story in itself). Currently Watchamacallum Dilbert was on his death bead explaining how great he felt to his good friend Valithor. "I don't get this dying business Valithor," "Not many people do." "No no, I don't mean that, I mean why does it have to be so bloomin slow!? I've just about changed my mind about dying and Death hasn't even arrived yet!" "Well he has had a busy schedule lately," Valithor pointed out, "I heard the McThorklesons lost five this morning." "Well I don't think it's very fair. I've had enough of living, I just want to die and go to Valhala, or some place with plenty of beer." "That reminds me, what are you going to do about your son Jippy?" "Haven't you heard? He's to take my place in The Clan." "He what!? Not just anyone can join The Clan you know!" "Of course, but in chapter six section 4 of The Clan handbook it states that a member of the clan may pass on his membership to a relation upon his death." "Sounds fishy, but--" There was a knock at the door. "Well," Said Watchamacallum Dilbert, "send my best wishes to the rest of The Clan." And that was that. The tavern in Skolhiem was like any other tavern in Alsius. By that I mean that it was the very definition of chaos, rather grimy, and selling beer by the keg. Jippy attempted to maneuver his way through the mass of sweaty bodies and balance a tray loaded with enough alcohol to knock out a goat. After he finished his "rounds", he arrived at a table cranking out volume at a level of it's own. Occupying the table were two characters, quite opposite in appearance, huddling over what appeared to be some form of dice. The first was a dwarf who's shortness harmonized with his overall roundness and completed the effect with a brown colored beard and ugly ponytail. He looked like someone you would see on the front of an Alsius sportswear magazine holding one of Syrtis' gems. The second was an Uthgar, also more commonly known as a goat. He appeared to be some distant relative of Chewbacca with horns and on steroids. Jippy was sure he had muscles no one had ever heard of before, or wanted to think about while eating dinner. Jippy chucked three mugs onto the table and sat down. He was met by two anticipating stares. "Alright," Jippy sighed, "what did you guys bet on this time?" "Bwahaha pay up Torin." The hulking Uthgar exclaimed. Torin Ironfist grudgingly dished out two-hundred quid. "Wait, lemme guess..." said Jippy. "Big Phil bet that I would ask you what you guys bet on, and Torin bet that--" "You would say how much you hated Skolhiem, yup, you got it." Torin cut in. "So what's crackin'? Did you get yelled at by Glug Spuffin again today?" "You know I heard that in taverns in the big cities like Birka they have bouncers for the waiters." Big Phil commented. "Hey, I know! Big Phil could act as your own personal body guard while he's not working." Torin Ironfist beamed. "That's what got me into trouble in the first place idiot." "Oh... yeah... Haha, now I remember! That was great fun, I heard that was one of the biggest tavern fights since the third age of the Empire!" Jippy didn't hear. He was watching Glug Spuffin the innkeeper talk to a dwarf that looked too high-class to be in Skolhiem. Glug Spuffin turned and pointed in Jippy's direction. Jippy had a feeling that something had just happened that would change everything. __________________ "My friends call me Big Phil, but you can call me sir"

11-02-2010, 01:37 AM	#5
Jippy Initiate Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Any place that has beer Posts: 179	ty for the mention in ur story - plz write a second chapter __________________ Jippy 60 Knight Member of Team Goat

11-02-2010, 02:07 AM	#6
Klutu Baron Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 714	Jippy your Famous! ;D Good Story looking forward to a second chapter __________________ Ramsli Klutu

11-02-2010, 02:57 AM	#7
Jippy Initiate Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Any place that has beer Posts: 179	"Jippy your Famous! ;D" I have no idea why... not like I have a 100k RP __________________ Jippy 60 Knight Member of Team Goat

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10-24-2010, 12:32 PM	#2
Raideniza Apprentice Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Алсиус Posts: 85	cool story bro.

10-27-2010, 04:17 AM	#3
IgnisGlomp Pledge Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 23	Haha nice story You should definitely write a second chapter!

10-30-2010, 02:26 AM	#4
jpboisjolie Pledge Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 0	Very interesting style, I would like to see more... Keep up the good work,