i can offer 2 general advices
1) go to enemy fort, if you know, that there will be to defend yours afterwards. (countless times it happens that party of 5 takes enemy fort, loses it and logs out afterwards, so other realmmates has to defend/retake it)
2) if it seems, that realm is going to get invaded or invasion attempt is in progress - silence in realm chat! there is no need for "we are going to get invaded", "the zerg will kill us" etc. it totally doesn't help for those, who seek advice on how to proceed, nor those, who offer such advice. there is no need to spam chat with useless things and no need to beat morale down. keep it simple - where, what, and what we can do if X happens,
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I just think that there would be less apathy and disappointment if we could win a bit more.... or at least not be the whippin dog of the realm.
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and would try to keep morale up instead of whining, that we can't something. we can do plenty of things. when syrtis zerged ignis and alsius, alsians actually managed to defend imp against 1st wave of syrt zerg, when there was only few, who bielieved that it is possible.
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in short words - keep morale up, and we will be fine.