A resolution

[Kitsuni]

Hello,

Many users may know this already, I am the user formerly known as Mikan. I chose
to abandon that name after it become enbroiled in too much drama -
particularly with complaints regarding my post count and karma, and a reputation
that was once good but gradually spoiled over time by my increasing instability.
This is completely my fault, and to those who I have either amused or offended,
I want to explain why, because it is something I have been running from for a
very long time, but I cannot anymore.

For the past five years I have been suffering from a host of health problems, as
I have a number of genetic, inherited disorders and birth defects, including a
heart problem. On the surface, I appear to be completely healthy, but I suffer
from issues such as physical, mental and emotional fatigue, mental instability
and body-wide muscle and joint pain. These could be collectively refered to as a
"disease", which has slowly progressed to a worse state year after year, and
will eventually either kill me or leave me unable to live properly.

To combat this, I take very strong pain killers and other medications (although
not all of the time - I tend to skip them as I do have a strong ego and like to
try to handle things myself). This results in altered mood states, clouded
judgement, even further increased fatigue and unstable behavior, causing me to
be very inconsistent in my portrayal - fine one day, and terrible the next. The
extreme amount of stress I go through in my daily life, from a variety of
sources, make this even worse. My long breaks from Regnum throughout the years
have actually been a result of me being physically unable to play any longer
during those times.

I am not asking for sympathy. I just wish to apologise to all of those who I
have caused problems for over the years, thank those who have been there through
it with me no matter how bad I became, and give an explanation to those who
probably don't care but deserve to know anyway. This isn't a whine, just an
admission of guilt, a facing of truths, and a prepration for the inevitable
conclusion. I will continue to post and play until I am no longer able to do so,
and contrary to popular believe, I do have a life (and a lifely wife, Nekoko). I
simply play Regnum so much because I literally cannot do anything else most of
the time. I am sincerely sorry if I gave the wrong image to those who are
against me; it was never my intention. And while I do everything I can to
prevent conflict and not come off as a complete douchebag, sometimes it is
impossible for me to control.

All I can do is make up after the fact, and carry on.