EPISODE 1 : No Fear

[Morphina]

dayron barb

[Anunnaki]

New episode available XD

[saumya]

Originally Posted by Anunnaki

EPISODE 1 : No Fear

Emin : I cant play without 5 conjus. Cya


Syrtis side
elva Im lagging, what program do goats use to modify ping ?
Ignis side
Siraya: Tk up
Alsius side
Saumya: pls dont include me, thanks

The truth that actually happened.

[Anunnaki]

Saumya respect my story, i block u ok
Log online and come arena

[Lebeau]

Just then ... Una showed up ... ("FAQ!", they said) ... EVERYbuddy knew the party was over ... 'Day' turned to night ... night went to sleep ... cats prowling the night let sleeping dogs lie & they got along well ... oil & water mixed well too ... the Tooth Fairy left money under pillows ... Santa Claus came to town ... but then morning came & ...

[_Scias_]

Cringeworthy to say the least.

Seriously, you can't just post dialogues between a bunch of random names and call that an episodic story.

Assuming you're not just trolling everyone here so I'll give the benefit of the doubt, otherwise you may use some advice for the future episodes :

- Where/When/Who/What/Why/How are the very basics of any storytelling, so you have to try to answer as much as you can especially in the first episodes. Right now we have absolutely no idea where the action takes place or even what the heck is happenning.

- Speaking of "Who", you can't just spit a bunch of character names like that without giving them a minimum of background information like simply who they are and where they come from, what's their realm/age/class/rank/clan, what are they wearing or using as weapons, their temper, physical characteristics etc... ?
We also don't know who are the main characters in your story here since none of them stands out from each other as we don't know anything about any of them. They might aswell all be NPCs with no personality whatsoever at this point.
Who's "Syrtis" ? Is it a group ? A character named Syrtis ? A Deity ? I know this might sound stupid but you just can't do that for a character that has an active place in the story. You refer to Syrtis as a realm but not as a bloody speaking character otherwise it is just plain laziness.

- Okay so a flashback happenned. How far back was that ? Why would he say that at that moment ? Who's that Emin guy anyways ?...

- Please much less dialogues and more description especially for action scenes. You can't just make whole episodes only using dialogues especially when they are this poor and/or not funny. This isn't dialogues for a comic or a movie so you have to describe what's going on outside of using dialogues else it's just horrible to read and keep track of.

- Take some example from other RO storytellers : https://www.championsofregnum.com/fo...ad.php?t=48161

You don't have to write like Shakespeare or build walls of text but if you are serious and going to continue please put a little effort into it at least.

Good luck for Episode 3.

[Anunnaki]

Originally Posted by _Scias_

Cringeworthy to say the least.

Seriously, you can't just post dialogues between a bunch of random names and call that an episodic story.

Assuming you're not just trolling everyone here so I'll give the benefit of the doubt, otherwise you may use some advice for the future episodes :

- Where/When/Who/What/Why/How are the very basics of any storytelling, so you have to try to answer as much as you can especially in the first episodes. Right now we have absolutely no idea where the action takes place or even what the heck is happenning.

- Speaking of "Who", you can't just spit a bunch of character names like that without giving them a minimum of background information like simply who they are and where they come from, what's their realm/age/class/rank/clan, what are they wearing or using as weapons, their temper, physical characteristics etc... ?
We also don't know who are the main characters in your story here since none of them stands out from each other as we don't know anything about any of them. They might aswell all be NPCs with no personality whatsoever at this point.
Who's "Syrtis" ? Is it a group ? A character named Syrtis ? A Deity ? I know this might sound stupid but you just can't do that for a character that has an active place in the story. You refer to Syrtis as a realm but not as a bloody speaking character otherwise it is just plain laziness.

- Okay so a flashback happenned. How far back was that ? Why would he say that at that moment ? Who's that Emin guy anyways ?...

- Please much less dialogues and more description especially for action scenes. You can't just make whole episodes only using dialogues especially when they are this poor and/or not funny. This isn't dialogues for a comic or a movie so you have to describe what's going on outside of using dialogues else it's just horrible to read and keep track of.

- Take some example from other RO storytellers : https://www.championsofregnum.com/fo...ad.php?t=48161

You don't have to write like Shakespeare or build walls of text but if you are serious and going to continue please put a little effort into it at least.

Good luck for Episode 3.

First of all those are not random names ,those are Nemon Heros.
Second i'm just trolling.
Third thanks for advices
Fourth you will be introduced in my 3 episode.

[Anunnaki]

Originally Posted by Lebeau

Just then ... Una showed up ... ("FAQ!", they said) ... EVERYbuddy knew the party was over ... 'Day' turned to night ... night went to sleep ... cats prowling the night let sleeping dogs lie & they got along well ... oil & water mixed well too ... the Tooth Fairy left money under pillows ... Santa Claus came to town ... but then morning came & ...

SUP ;} face guy

[Drago-I]

Next episode: dayron lopiko's butt shaking of fear, he quickly switched realm and begged drago I to spare his life and show some mercy in his aliens language.

dayron: hi
drago: hi
dayron: do not killed, i'm serioslty i'm alsius.
drago: ?
dayron: you fuck i ignore no killed stop drago I
it does not matter stupid i bad talking chat killed i'm alsius
drago: lol wtf?
dayron: serioslty, you fuck asshole bye stupido.
Left the chat

[Anunnaki]

Originally Posted by Drago-I

Next episode: dayron lopiko's butt shaking of fear, he quickly switched realm and begged drago I to spare his life and show some mercy in his aliens language.

dayron: hi
drago: hi
dayron: do not killed, i'm serioslty i'm alsius.
drago: ?
dayron: you fuck i ignore no killed stop drago I
it does not matter stupid i bad talking chat killed i'm alsius
drago: lol wtf?
dayron: serioslty, you fuck asshole bye stupido.
Left the chat

I should remove the stories and just post dayron chat here that would be more funny