The RO Soap Opera Thread

[Pizdzius]

/me sets this forums on flames

BURN ,WITCH!

[Inkster]

Originally Posted by aardvak2669

/me sets this forums on flames

BURN ,WITCH!

How do you know he/shes a witch?

[_dracus_]

Originally Posted by Inkster

How do you know he/shes a witch?

Too many pointy hat, it's a witch convention!

[Inkster]

could be a wear a funnel on yer head convention, look again

[kraetyz]

Originally Posted by Inkster

How do you know he/shes a witch?

She has witch clothes!
And a broom!

Hmm... Let's see if she's made of wood. WHO HAS A DUCK?

[GIGO305]

Originally Posted by Rated_R_Edge

BONU$: Aboate mi bad dae

$omewhere in a dark alley in Fi$gael $yrtis, a drug deal is being made:
"Gimmie a dub 40 an a 8 ball". "That'd be 2 Benjamin$, you paying or what nigga?" "......don like." Gigo draw$ his $word and whack$ the gangster in the face. *KA WHACK* G-g-gigo! Get yo drug $wipin ass back over here you little treefucker!

aNd thiz wu$ how I maic a liven. You r talcen to Gigo, n this i$ mi $torie. $o I decidead to go hunten in Ignez. Wile I wuz cro$$en (ha duble $$ im raw) the breadge, an thiz maej jump$ outa nowhear. Im liek, moov oevr yu nekramencer maej! An he ca$ts $ultarz Tarrer on me. So he pi$$ed me ofe. Thi$ iz how I roll faggit! N I pooled out mi blaed and fucked his a$$ up. Then thiz barbarian comz to help the maij I killed. He smasced mi like a patata $aled. So I wuz flien till the dae I dyed. Now I wuz bored,



this is how i would traslate that LO fucking L!!!!!!!!!!!!


1 u dmb ass sht i dnt sell drugs in fisga place got to many popo thats why i do it in dohsim dose bitches get shipments of crack every single fucking day! and near the algaros teleport in aravana woods south there is a plant dat luks like mairjuana but.../me rolls it up and takes a puff what do you know it is weed aster all. and i ahev 5mil cus alot of hippys (like Awd, especialy him ) on stone save get high on weed, aside frm not helpin us kill and only making lag they do bring in a good buiseness and now my biigest money maka in reaeria's whore hose were i get money to get tunics n sht cus everywere else they all gay n sht with faget brads like halyster and assonme and bich, my tunics got nike chks on them and eko unlmt brands BIACHES. tnx to ur guide on "how to make a a PIMP out of a gay elf with intervies with 50cent and lyrics frm 2pac" i got every ring and amulet wit bonus (lord of da bling bitch). wit da extra money i put my zarkit on jeny cregs so he can stay in shape and when he hustles more ill buy him a spear staf![/B]


p.s u are fucked up like hell, makes me look like a rich kid XDDD LOL















-STORY ONE-
"AZAKCRY, A cry to the world..."
CHAPTER 1:
*SLAP* Was the sound I first heard when I was born, where did it come from, I glanced over to my right, and noticed it was the doctor who slapped my mother. "You call that a baby?!" Yelled the Doctor. From that moment I knew I would have a promising life.

Excerpt from Diary: October 16. 1999
Many years passed since my birth, I was now 1 year old. I learned not only to walk, but since I was so great I learned to run before walking. How did I learn, well you see, one day I was in the garden, and I saw my dad talking to the postwoman, they were having a good conversation or something, so I hid in the bush closest to them and listened. "So, I hear you deliver newspapers huh?" said Dad. "Uhm yes Mr. Szuszaczek, ive been delivering delivering papers for 12 years now. "Oho! Thats very interesting!" said Dad. "I think its pretty boring" said the Paperwoman. "Uh...well I do too! I was just kidding...... Yeah! What a stupid job" said my Dad. "Are you making fun of my job?" said the paperwoman. "Uhm no I just uh..." "I love a man that treats me like shit" said the woman. They walked to her mailtruck and hopped in the back, probably to find newspapers I said. I followed, and peeked through a hole in the side of the truck. I noted the truck was bopping up on down, hmm she must have hydraulics in her mailtruck I said. What a cool lady.

I watched as the woman's papers and her bag fell to the floor. * THUD * I stared They were shaking thier hands in a strange way, my father pulled down his pants, I noted this down. "So this must be how adults say hi to each other." I said to myself. So I jumped in the back of the truck too, pulled down my pants, and said I to the lady, *SLAP* "What the fuck are YOU doing azak?!" yelled my dad. The lady ran off screaming back to the front of her mailtruck. By this time my mom came out and wondered what all the screaming was about. All I remeber after that was my dad hitting me with a broom in my back, and thats how I learned to run, all the way around the house. After that my mom said she was going away on vacation.

Excerpt from Diary Dec. 19th 2007
Well now I was now 9 years old. My mom was still away on vacation, I have been living with my dad all these years, I know she'll come home some day form her vacation. Still the bond I shared with my father grew and grew. One day he went in my room and.....

*TORN PAGE*

........I got a computer finnaly today too, one day my dad was flipping through pictures of girls on the internet, and he came across this picture of this girl from some land called Ignis. I think her name was Josephine. Anyway, he was like, I need to get into this game and find this Josephine chick. So thats how WE found Regnum. Eventually we had a fun time, he dressed my character up as a fairy elf. My ingame character is actually a girl, I just look like a man because... well thats where that doctor story fits in from Chapter 1. Anyway. He liked flipping through this place called Syrtis looking for girl elves. Whenever I asked my dad why he loved girls so much all he says is, "its my hobby, now shut up and make me some pasta!" I felt like a Cinderella, I had emotional needs at the time. But oh yea, back to Syrtis, he found this one elf chick called Valorius Rageway, they got along pretty well until the day he found out it was really a guy with long hair. My dad got pretty pissed at that, he made threats, he dosen't like guys who pretend to be girls. Anyway, this Val was stupid, WHAT kind of guy has a female alt anyway? Does he possibly find this attractive, I was sick of this, so it was time for a change.

Excerpt from Diary Dec. 21 2007
The following events may not be historically accurate.

Today was the big day, the day I face Val. I stood there waiting in the arena. And looked up at the stands, alot of people sure came to cheer me on. They were praising me by throwing food at me. My dad always says vegetables are good for you. So these people were smart. I looked up and saw a shadow coming through the arena. It was Valorius. On her back she had 3 Bows of Xymerald or something. "Which one do you want to taste down your throat!?" said Valorius. "Oh a present for me before our battle, in that case I pick the biggest one!" I said. Val stared at me with these huge eyes and mumbled something. Then she hopped down into the arena, it was time for the battle. I gulped down my Estrogen pills, knowing what would be ahead of me. Val just prepared by picking her teeth with one of her arrows. Mighty Surak arrived and took his seat in the box. He raised his hand, meaning let the countdown begin, then he went back to talking with his 7 wives. 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! GO!

The battle had begun! I immediatly started running towards Val to get a good shot, she was standing there waiting for me to take a shot. FOR MEN WHO DON'T HAVE AN ATTRACTION TO FEMALE CHARACTERS IN MASSIVE MULTIPLAYER ONLINE ROLE PLAYING GAMES! I shouted. Just then I tripped on a stone in the arena and died. The battle was over since I died. The results came up on the board. The winner is.... EVIL ROCK! wait no, EVIL STONE! Val stood there gaping at the announcer. She turned a purple, then bluish, then purple colour. The next matter was ther betting booths. since everyone had betted on Valorius, everyone lost their gold. There was a huge outbreak of violence in the crowds. There was this one gay elf who won the bet though, he was sitting in a corner. And he was yelling, BEWARE THE EVIL ROCK! I WARNED YOU ALL! Now im rich! Then I felt dizzy and respawned.

I woke up the next morning and I was in the Figael Inn on life support. I looked to my left and Val was there too on the bunk next to mine, she was still unconsious and purple. They brought in the Conjurers but then a Warlock came in and said stay aside!
The Warlock raised his staff and said CLEAR! A small bolt of Thunder came down onto Valorius, CLEAR! another one. *GAG* Valorius woke up and she returned to her original color in a few short seconds. End of Chapter One...

CHAPTER TWO:
With the Valorius incident behind me, I decided to change myself, cast off the shackles and start fresh. Yea! This time I would be the guy everyonebody looks up to, somehow I would work my way to the top. Hell, maybe I would finnaly start getting an appeal for women. Of course... I wanted to do all this, but it was impossible with my dad using my Regnum account to flirt with the hot elf chicks. I needed to win back my pride. So I started to conduct a scheme to get him away from Regnum. So I knew he was a major horndog. That must be the way to get him out of my life. Get him a new girl. Or, Destroy his taste for Women period. Yes thats what I will do.

One day while my dad was tired from his usual exercises. I snuck on the computer. And I stood there at Stone Altar, waiting for a master plan to come to my head. All of a sudden, I felt a giddy sensation. I looked down and I saw some guy kneeling right next to my crotch. His name said Angelwinged Devil. "AHHHH! Don't kill me! Please!" "What the fuck are you talking about?" said AwD. "A-aren't you an Ignis player coming to kill me or something?" I said. "Far from it dude, Igneans don't know how to play around the way us Syrtians do." said AwD. "Uh what are you doing?" I asked. "Completing my list" said AwD. "List??" "Yea a list... to count how many.... say would you stop moving?" "Uh loook I really don't have time for this, I could like kill you Mr. Angelwings but, ill let you off the hook this time." "Hey wait a minute! I know who you are, HAHA your that noob that faced Val in a PvP. Oh that was classic LOL"

"Would you stop like picking on me? That wasn't me playing that was my... uh... cousin." I mumbled. "You have a cousin? Damn I want to meet him too." said AwD. "Could you leave me alone, im trying to think of a way I can play Regnum full time." I said "Well, I hate you as much as everyone, but if it means I can laugh at you everyday, then ill help you! Count me in, what do you need to do? Kill someone? Dispose of a body? Fake ID for beer? I got plenty if you need some." said AwD. "No, I need to get my dad away from watching porn on the computer." "Really? Well leave it to me in that case." When will he be on to play your account?" "Well he should have all his energy back in about 5 minutes, are you gonna be ready?" "Leave it all to me" said AwD with a evil tone. End of Chapter Two...

BONU$: Aboate mi bad dae

$omewhere in a dark alley in Fi$gael $yrtis, a drug deal is being made:
"Gimmie a dub 40 an a 8 ball". "That'd be 2 Benjamin$, you paying or what nigga?" "......don like." Gigo draw$ his $word and whack$ the gangster in the face. *KA WHACK* G-g-gigo! Get yo drug $wipin ass back over here you little treefucker!

aNd thiz wu$ how I maic a liven. You r talcen to Gigo, n this i$ mi $torie. $o I decidead to go hunten in Ignez. Wile I wuz cro$$en (ha duble $$ im raw) the breadge, an thiz maej jump$ outa nowhear. Im liek, moov oevr yu nekramencer maej! An he ca$ts $ultarz Tarrer on me. So he pi$$ed me ofe. Thi$ iz how I roll faggit! N I pooled out mi blaed and fucked his a$$ up. Then thiz barbarian comz to help the maij I killed. He smasced mi like a patata $aled. So I wuz flien till the dae I dyed. Now I wuz bored,

danmit my mesege is in dere some were look 4 it im not edeting fuck dat.


sing-

Gigo-Units XDDDD ROLF!!!!!!!!!

[ArcticWolf]

Originally Posted by Inkster

How do you know he/shes a witch?

How to know if somebody uses black magic (according to the Malleus Maleficarum):

1. Get one of the bad boys (warlock) or bad girl (witch). You get a 20% rebate on large groups, courtesy of the Vatican.
2. Materials
   1. Get wood. Lots of wood. Oh, and a lighter.
   2. Get a pool full of water, or go to a river.
   3. Rope and heavy stones are needed.
3. Procedure:
   1. Fasten the witches or warlocks together with the stones. Use nylon ropes because of their strength. Oh, and plastic is magic-resistant.
   2. Using the ropes, submerge the mages on the water for 15 minutes.
   3. Get the mages out of the water and prepare the coffins / fire.
4. Final proof:
   1. If the witch/warlock gets drowned it means he/she was a normal person. If the mage is still alive (just as GLaDOS), burn him/her... alive (just as GLaDOS!).
   2. If the mages are wet (and I mean, with the water from the river) and you don't have enough place for a proper burial, then burn the guy you've just drowned. If you DO have place and the body is dry, burn it anyway, it will be a good show.

That's all for today. Tomorrow I'll tell you how to spot an infidel. Basically, it's everything that moves without carrying a bible.

[mann2411]

WOOOOOT FLAMES YES
* brad gets his guitar out and starts crappidly playing
this is the pt song
awesome McNgd had a game pt pt pt
and on that game there was a pt pt pt pt
with a noob noob there and a pt pt pt there
awesome McNgd had a farm le pt all around
and it got so bad they decided to break off the pt zone from all the realms
and now those pts live in peace ptptptpt and inkster who went into the intiation zone at the wrong time
woot smashed guitar
*brad smash guitar
woot smashed guitar solo
*sets it alight
yEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
flames

[Pizdzius]

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN

yes indeed. Marshmellow time

[Static_Fang]

Originally Posted by aardvak2669

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN

yes indeed. Marshmellow time

Marsgmellows? Pfft

Goat eyes time