A Regnum Tale: Exiles

[Ulti19]

Posts in the inn section don't count towards your total posts.

On another note cool story

[Immune]

A Destination

Remus strode heavily up the sloped landscape in his blue-tinted metal armor. His deep blue eyes were shifting from place to place, like he couldn't concentrate. He was covered with various scrapes and scratches along with some minor dents in his armor, but all in all he was no worse for the wear. His shield however, would require quite a bit of work to be restored to a state of reliability. He sighed audibly, aiming to relieve some of his stress; On the contrary, it made him feel like falling over and never getting back up.

'Going back with two of the nine who were with me before won't look good.' he thought. Remus had been sent on a sabotage mission with a company of supplied troops on Syrtian soil, but when the operation was long underway the situation had suddenly turned too hot too fast. The details are of little consequence at this point... suffice to say, the mission was a failure and seven loyal Alsian soldiers died in the process, under his command. He was rightfully worried, his was not a Nation which kindly tolerated failure. But he would worry about crossing that bridge when he got to it.

Behind Remus walked a warlock who hadn't spoken a word this whole trip and who's identity was a mystery to everyone, including their employer. Not that his face was hidden... but absolutely no one in Alsius recognized him, and there were no records regarding any part of his existence. All Remus knew was that he was a human with red hair and pale blue eyes, pretty much all that anyone knew about him, other than his status as a warlock.

There was also a Dwarven marksman named Gimli, who's general presence more than made up for the other's silence with his constant upbeat and irrelevant chattering. Maybe he'd had too much to drink to block out the incident he'd somehow managed to survive. This effectively preventing any chance of sweet silence befalling them. Both of them thoroughly bothered Remus for perfectly opposite reasons: one wouldn't talk and Remus didn't even know his name, and the other one wouldn't shut up long enough for him to take a breath in silence.

The knight and his surviving allies from that unfortunate episode were heading east from the northern bridge connecting Syrtis and Ignis, with the simple name of "The White Bridge". The group was heading east-southeast from the bridge, hoping to hit the desert limit dividing the sands of Ignis from the green prairies. The plan was to then follow the divide and reach the swamp by nightfall where they would set up camp; They needed a rest after what they'd been through.

They were also supposed to meet the Alsian detachment at Samal the next morning for a follow-up attack on Herbred fort, and eventually Eferias Castle, both of which were expected to be utterly unprepared. Regrettably, it seemed Remus would be delivering the news that not only was the sabotage a failure, but that now the Elves would be expecting them. Remus ran hand through his short, unkempt, jet black hair and groaned as Gimli continued to talk without provocation. It was slowly numbing his ears.

His mind was somewhere else anyways though, Remus was walking forward without really paying attention to where he was going. He was thinking about a dream he'd had the night before the operation went wrong. It was strange... different, it didn't -feel- like a dream. In it he was confronted with an obscure humanoid figure, and they were standing in the very swamps that his group was heading for now. The figure spoke to him, though it sounded strange... muffled, like it was talking from behind a thin glass wall.
"Seek this place. This... is where your true destiny will begin to unfold." was all that it told Remus before his sleep returned back into... just sleep.
Dreams weren't a common experience for him. Especially ones with a message like the one he had been given in that one. That was actually a first, and he had woken up thoroughly confused.

Not that this was the only reason for going to the swamp to make camp... sleeping out in the open desert was just not a smart idea. It was enemy territory, and they were in no condition to be attacked in their sleep. The swamp provided cover, and was somewhat cooler temperature in the shade its trees produced.
It is also true that they could have reached Samal in the same time it would take to reach the swamps... but the fighting would almost certainly still be raging on, and a full-scale conflict was just not something they were capable of taking on at the moment.

Remus' daydreaming seemed to have brought him to the limit in no time, though the sun was slowly but surely falling towards the western horizon. They stopped long enough to sip some water that they collected along the riverbanks near the white bridge. With solemn eyes, Remus looked into the sky towards the swamp and noted the gradually dimming light, subtly transforming into the colors of a sunset. They would have to hurry if they wanted to make it before nightfall.

He felt a tap on his shoulder... the nameless warlock pointed and directed his attention to the northeast. Three Ignean archers... a hunter without a pet, and two marksmen (distinguishable by armors) seemed to come out of nowhere and were coming at them full speed.
"Great. What are they doing this far South... they should be at Samal." Remus thought out loud. "I'm not in the mood for this." He may have felt different if he'd gotten some time to recover from his last fight, which had left them weary. But Remus knew they'd have to get rid of them, one way or another. Gimli finally shut up about whatever his current topic of the minute was, once he realized combat was about to begin.

Luckily these Igneans seemed to lack the combat experience many seasoned veterans had obtained from long years of intense training and real battle. These men were only recently released into the war zone, fresh blood eager to kill without realizing they were far from invincible themselves. Remus had no problem cutting them down if they were foolish enough to attack considering the circumstances. Even in their battered state they could crush these whelps in a minute; "They" being Remus and the warlock... Gimli was somewhat of a fresh face himself.
'Probably why he's so annoying.' Remus always told himself.

The Igneans certainly met Remus' expectations regarding their foolishness. The hunter's form began to shimmer, and in an instant he was nowhere to be seen. The one true ability a hunter possessed which could be called "magic" was invisibility. A simple manipulation trick, bending light around the user to create the illusion that he or she was simply not there.
The marksmen simply began firing arrows at them with considerable velocity. It seemed they had already spent a good amount of energy getting here or attacking something else, because they neglected to utilize the magically infused arrows which marksmen were famous for.

Remus' shield was already crippled, but these arrows were of low quality and the assailants couldn't produce as forceful a shot as an upper-class and well trained dead eye. Not to mention the attackers had been sprinting for the past 15 minutes.

Still, Remus didn't want his shield to break here and now if he could prevent it, and so charged down the limit-slope and forth towards the pair. Somehow they didn't expect that and panicked, one stumbling backwards mid-shot and the other dropping the arrow which was intended to be his next attack. Remus actually laughed at this, and was already on top of them before either could recover from their fatal mistakes.

The hunter appeared behind Gimli with an arrow drawn as Remus had dropped down to confront the marksmen, but our silent warlock was patiently expecting this. With a flick of his staff, a giant hand made of stone erupted from beneath the hunter, grabbed him by the torso, and giving him time for one scream of terror, violently smashed him into the ground with a resounding *THUD*, along with some disturbing cracking noises... followed by a moment of distressed gurgling.

The marksmen were already dead by the time the stone fist had re-entered the stone from whence it came. Their demises were much less dramatic than their fellow hunter's, a sword through one's heart and a shield swipe breaking the other's neck. Luckily that didn't harm the shield any further. It was all over before Gimli realized it had even happened, but that didn't stop him from feeling proud for being on the victorious side.

Remus climbed back up to the others.
"Quickly now, we're wasting daylight." he huffed shortly, and they were off again like nothing had happened. Remus would be the last to admit it, but he was on the verge of collapsing from exhaustion.
Another hour of paced walking brought them to the swamps with dusk fully upon them.

[Immune]

Knightmare

As Remus entered the swamp, he slowly became aware of the faint smell of smoke. The swamps were a very moist area, making a natural fire out of the question. That left one logical explanation.
"Someone else is here." Remus mumbled. He realized just then that Gimli had stopped talking, at long last. This actually brightened his mood. Speaking of brightness...
"Say... warlock, mind giving us some light with that candlestick of yours?" he asked sarcastically. No response. He stopped slowly. He didn't expect an answer really, but that wasn't what bothered him, it was the lack of... their presence.

Remus turned on his heels, and to his surprise neither of his companions were there. He thought for a moment, calming himself to the best of his abilities.
'I knew it.' he thought to himself. The knight drew his sword and readied his shield. 'Gimli wouldn't abandon me, but he was inexperienced... but the warlock--'
His contemplation was cut short, but he was already at the right conclusion.

"Veeeeery good my friend, clever of you indeed! But I'm afraid it's far too late to save poor Gimli... or yourself, for that matter." The voice resonated all around Remus, but in reality it was all in his head. It sounded raspy but audacious, if not a bit mocking. He had never heard this voice, which is exactly why it was so easy to guess that it was the silent warlock.
"Who are you?" Remus said threateningly, seemingly to no one. Of course, he knew who it "was", but that didn't tell him anything.

Did you forget me already?! How disheartening, really. I could just ~burst~ into tears! At that moment an explosion erupted right in front of Remus, who stood strong against the force that would've knocked most people flat on their back.

"Tsk tsk tsk! That was all I had to do to get rid of little Gimli! You're really going to make me work for this aren't you? Hahahahaha! He cackled. Remus knew there was no talking his way out of this, but he could still try learning something of value.
"Why are you doing this? Who do you work for?!" Remus yelled, though he had no idea in which direction he should be yelling.
"Who, MEEE??? Why, I'm ~flattered~ you want to learn more about me!" A giant boulder flew over Remus' head and came barreling towards him. He dived out of the way just in time so as not to be crushed, bones and all.

Remus got up quickly and looked around. There was still enough light to move around without running into trees, but finding this mage could prove difficult. He did the only thing he could and took cover behind the closest tree.
Oh now WHY would you hide from me? Do I frighten you?! I suppose I can't blame you... I scare most people to ~death~!!! Remus had learned to listen for the hints of the next attack to come in the warlock's voice, but was less than unsure of how to counter that one.

With no other ideas he raised his sword and at will created a shining barrier that completely surrounded him. It was made of pure white light, one of his most powerful protections... because he had no idea just how strong this warlock could prove to be. A cloud of purple and black darkness had suddenly materialized around his barrier, which luckily seemed to be effectively repelling the ominous fog. Remus had just about enough of this.

"Face me you coward!!!" he bellowed, and his barrier exploded in a wave of heat and light in all directions. Suddenly the surrounding area looked like it was in daylight again, and the fog had been burned away. A gasp could be heard from above and a yell as something fell from one of the trees nearby, followed by the rustling of weeds and various plant life. Remus had him now. He charged with his shield at front, in the direction of the warlock. Groaning noises led the knight right to the mage, who was still lying on the ground, trying to recover.

Just as Remus was about to drive his sword through his throat, the necromancer thrust his free arm up and at him, releasing a burst of pure force, strong enough to knock Remus back several feet. Now the roles were reversed, Remus on his back and the warlock back on his feet. The mage shot a bolt of lightning from his staff directly at the knight, who was already half-up again and used his shield to absorb the energy.

Remus smiled, the magical energy of that attack helped fuse the cracking metal in his shield back together. Not only that, but he loved this next trick... he touched his sword to the charged up shield, and then pointed the blade at the warlock, releasing all of the stored energy in the form of an explosive sphere.

The warlock had never seen a warrior do that before, so he wasn't really prepared to counter it. He simply dived out of the way. The sphere hit a tree he'd been standing in front of moments before, which was now splintering, burning, and about to fall on top of him. He rolled on the ground fast enough not to be pounded into the ground.

The tree was between the two of them now. The mage went to stand back up only to find that his tunic was caught under the collapsed tree. He hastily cut it loose with a beam of light (managing not to burn the rest of the robe simultaneously). When he looked back up Remus had already closed the distance and was jumping over the tree, swinging his sword at him.

The still unnamed warlock jumped back in surprise, saving himself from being beheaded right there and then. Remus didn't completely miss however, and put a deep slash into the man's left arm. He kept charging him, following up with a slash to his right leg. The warlock fell on one knee and looked up now both in disbelief and anger. He wouldn't fall this easily, he refused... he had one last trick that would end one of them for good. His eyes turned completely black, whites and all, and he looked straight into the eyes of the knight just as Remus struck him across the face with his shield.

Both of them fell limp.

[Immune]

Hope anyone reading these is still liking them, here's the next part. (Split in 2... damn 12k char limit.)

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Mind Games

Ahno had made it to the swamps without incident. Several hours had passed since he'd made his last decision as an Ignean. The dark of night was upon them now... him and Iris, that is. Ahno had built a small fire, and he sat against a log, with Iris still unconscious, laying on the ground opposite of the fire from him. He listened to the calm ambiance and the crackling fire as he watched her. The light produced by the flames gave her an eerily somber appearance.
'Who are you?' He wondered. The question had burned in him ever since he saw her hand. That symbol. His symbol... and hers, apparently.

He was just about to fall asleep when an explosive sound came from... somewhere. Ahno stood up and looked around, completely on guard and aware now. He'd placed a protective enchantment around the perimeter of the campsite, but it was by no means a safeguard against everything that could come their way. Better to take care of a problem personally than relying on an unmanned barrier to keep you safe while you're sleeping.

It wasn't hard to determine where that noise originated, because a large dome of light could be seen through the trees, perhaps half a mile away. Ahno had to rub his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating, when he thought he saw two men attacking each other in what appeared to be isolated daylight. The various noises accompanying what he saw supported that it was indeed combat going on there. He rubbed his chin and thought... thinking is what he does best, after all.
"Let's see..." he went through some ideas in his head, and found one that pleased him.

Ahno closed his eyes and in seconds an ethereal bird materialized in front of him. It chirped once, which rang out, reverberating like a wind-chime. Keeping his eyes closed he controlled the creature and saw through its eyes, and heard what it heard. He had it fly over to the commotion and rest in one of the trees. A knight and a warlock it seemed. He could tell that both were unusually powerful, and both seemed surprised that the other had lasted this long. He watched until the very end, at which point both combatants fell on their sides, though the knight did so without apparent reason, appearing unscathed.

He released his concentration and the form vaporized back into the air. Through the trees he could see the dome of light growing smaller, eventually disappearing and leaving the swamp in darkness once again... save for the pale moonlight and the campfire. Ahno turned and looked back at Iris. He'd successfully removed the arrow from her leg, and with the help of his power she would be awake and back to full health by morning. At which point he hoped his decision to save her didn't end up being unwise.

The battle that had just taken place piqued Ahno's curiosity, and he felt the need to investigate. He figured that it seemed safe enough, considering both men were either dead or knocked out. A feeling of precognition told him that the number of things that didn't make sense here was about to increase. He placed a second layer of magical protection around the clearing before setting off.

The site was a short walk away, and with a minor illumination spell he made his way there easily in under five minutes. He scanned for and found the knocked over tree, the trunk of which was still burning. This marked where the two had both collapsed. Ahno began feeling apprehensive... the air was growing unnaturally cold for this area. He created a thermal shield around himself that retained heat, the drop in temperature was something one would experience in northern Alsius.

He knelt down next to the two bodies now. The warlock was dead, without a doubt. No breathing, and the color was already draining from his skin... it actually seemed like he had been dead for much longer than a few minutes. Ahno didn't have time to think about that now, he turned his attention to the warrior. This one seemed to be alive. Which Ahno had already guessed... but that wasn't what he was trying to figure out. What was confusing was why he fell over for no reason.

Looking over the warrior, there was one thing he immediately noticed: his eyes were completely white. Ahno had a feeling as to what that meant, but he couldn't be sure yet. Spotting no other physical anomalies, he decided it waas time to check for spiritual and magical presences that didn't belong there.

Ahno closed his eyes and whispered a few words. When he opened them again his vision was changed. Looking at the warrior's form again, he now saw white light emanating from all areas of the body. This was normal, to Ahno's disappointment. He tried making some minor adjustments to the spell, and suddenly he could see a black and purple orb with the diameter of a penny.

This concerned him deeply. Not because he didn't know what it was, quite the opposite in fact. He knew exactly what it was. Ahno had saved many Igneans from this ability, it was a last attempt of a dying necromancer to kill someone before dying themselves. Sometimes though, it could be much worse than that. Only once had he seen this terrible power mature to its fullest potential... and on that day he vowed never to let it happen again.

Which led Ahno to his decision to save him. Not only because he believed no one should have to suffer such twisted magic (he was against most necromancy)... but also because if he didn't, many more lives could be lost in the future. He didn't know this man... for all Ahno knew, as soon as this person awoke he may try to kill him. Something told him that was unlikely though.

Ahno rested a hand on the man's chest, where his heart was. The other he held over the knight's forehead. He closed his eyes and focused on the heart and the mind simultaneously. Energy was building up at his fingertips, and he was about to touch the forehead when the orb suddenly lashed out him with a tendril of psychic energy. Ahno knew this would happen,he had dealt with this before and was prepared for it.

The warlock's mind was still there, conscious as ever, battling the knight's conscious for control of the body. If he could not gain control, he would then try to kill him. Ahno wasn't about to let either happen. He sent a burst of psychic waves at the orb (being cautious so as not to harm the warrior). The warlock wasn't prepared for this interference. Not only did Ahno temporarily paralyze his thought process, but also gave the knight a chance to recover.

Ahno knew this wouldn't last long and so made his moves quickly. He put his index finger on the knight's forehead and began exerting healing rays through his other hand into the heart. As he did so, he began extracting the malevolent energy from the warrior's head to rest on his energized fingertip. The process was tedious, but he finished without incident and had the entirety of the necromancer's consciousness in the palm of his hand.

Before Ahno could destroy the presence however, the paralyzing affect Ahno had inflicted on it wore off. Suddenly he heard a screech in his mind, it was like a banshee. The energy surged for his mind, but he was not about to let the mage start all over again. He formed a mental barrier, blocking all thoughts at will. Nothing could get in, and very little could get out. He could still sense where the energy was however... it was HIS head after all. He was hesitant towards directly attacking it, so he began with protective countermeasures.

With a simple thought, he began erecting a barrier around his head so the warlock was trapped. Not that it was trying to escape, not yet at least. Ahno then began isolating the area where the orb was floating with additional walls of mental energy. What it was doing now he couldn't tell, but the sooner he got rid of it, the better. The warlock realized what was happening and tried to leave the conjurer's mind... only to find that he couldn't. It began trying to force its way out.

Ahno knew he couldn't hold the outer barrier forever, and began compressing the mental isolation chamber he'd formed around the orb. Soon enough the consciousness couldn't move. Ahno let down all other barriers and forced the now powerless corrupt energy out of his head and back into his hand. Ahno grinned.
"Time to finish this."

His palm holding the sphere began to glow faintly. The intensity of the light grew brighter and brighter, Ahno had to squint to continue without breaking his concentration. By the time the energy reached its peak, the presence in the orb was frantic. The warlock knew he was in danger, but he was trapped... hopelessly so, it seemed. Suddenly the necromancer had an idea that might save his life.
'I... refuse... to die!' He exclaimed... though he was the only one who heard it, being a ball of energy encased in a magical barrier.

Ahno was about to close his fist around the orb, which would engulf it in the energy. Then without warning, the orb contracted to a speck of barely visible size, and exploded. The force was immense and broke the barrier containing the warlock's consciousness. The mage sought out his former body, which suddenly came back to life, despite the broken neck. Or it "was" broken. He grabbed his staff as Ahno turned to face him.

"Next time... you die." the warlock gasped. He thrust his good arm out towards Ahno and, in a flash of light, he was suddenly gone.
"Dammit!" Ahno exclaimed. This was a failure in his eyes, although he had stopped the birth of an abomination. Still... never before had something like that happened. The spontaneous revival of the warlock's body was inexplicable to him. Something had caught his eye also... as the necromancer held his hand out before he disappeared, Ahno thought he could make out a symbol on his palm... it looked like an hourglass.

"No catching him now..." Ahno sighed, turning back to the knight. To his surprise, he was already awake and getting up. Normally the victim of such an encounter would remain knocked out for at least a few hours. Ahno was amazed at his fortitude.

[Immune]

(12,000 char limit)
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First Introductions

"Ugh... wha? What's going on...?" Remus stammered. He saw that the conjurer before him was a dark elf, but that doesn't always register correctly when you've just awoken from attempted mind control and soul tainting. He picked up his blade and pointed it at Ahno. "Was that you?" he asked pointedly.

Ahno frowned and replied quickly.
"If by 'that' you mean expelled the necromancer from your mind and saved you from becoming a monster, then yes. That was me." His tone was understandably irritated... he was expecting a bit more gratitude than that. Remus didn't seem to quite understand most of that. He did however, understand the 'saved you' part.

"Well umm... thanks." Remus lowered his blade. "But why?" he asked. Ahno looked back at the campsite he'd set up, then up at the moon in the dark sky. It was getting late.
"Let's just say... it's better for everyone that he didn't succeed." he replied.
Remus decided that was an acceptable answer for now. Another question came to him.
"What were you doing here in the swamps at this hour though?"
"I could ask you the same thing, you're very far from Alsius. But I'll tell you simply, that it's personal business."

Remus wondered at that, 'personal business'?
"You do realize Samal was sieged today? Why would you not be there?"
"I'm aware that it was Alsius attacking... I could again ask you the same." Ahno grinned mischievously, he loved countering people in conversation like that. "But again I shall answer regardless... simply put, my allegiance no longer lies with Ignis."
"So you're an exile." Remus concluded.

Ahno remained silent.
Remus sighed. "Kind of wish I could leave Alsius like that."
Now Ahno raised an eyebrow. "Really now?"
The knight continued. "Yes... I'm sick of the constant battle. I only joined the army to see new places... snow and pine trees get stale after a while, you know? But killing... that's not something I relish. I just want it all to stop, it's gone on too long."

Ahno thought back to that morning, he was thinking the same thing. He looked down at his hand, then at the hand of the knight... he was wearing gauntlets.
'Worth a shot' he decided. He held up his hand and showed it to Remus.
"Does this have any meaning to you?"

Remus' eyes went wide.
"Who are you?"
Ahno chuckled half-heartedly.
"That seems to be the question of the day. If you'd like to stay... I can tell you could use some rest as much as I could."
Remus looked at his hand, and he felt like that dream might start making sense soon.

Ahno turned on his heel towards the camp and began walking. He waved for Remus to follow him. He turned his head to speak back as he walked.
"By the way, the name's Ahno."
Remus hesitated a moment, and followed.
"Remus."

[bois]

I am reading it with relish.

I really like this story.

Let me tell you why. Technically it is quite good. Atmosphere is good. Continuity is quite good. Immersion into story is excellent. Storyline development and progression of character development is quite good.

The introduction of a possible protagonist and a possible antagonist. Good.

The chapters are compact and deliver a story in a progressive way. Story is building nicely. The language is not too complex yet it delivers imagery to keep me in the story. I like that. Paragraphs deliver a clear idea to the reader. Often, stories here try to squeeze too much information into paragraphs like its a sprint race. Steady as she goes.

Now I see two tiny things you need to guard against.
This is one:

If anyone cannot guess how that turned out, it is recommended that you watch someone get rammed by a dump truck going 100 miles an hour into a cliff wall to witness a similar affect. This may very well be where the concept of a falcon punch originated.

This statement took me out of the story. Why? because it refers to something completely foreign and out of context of the imagery you are building. I would be careful about trying to make the reader "see" what you are telling. Let the story take them.

Edit : I deleted this part because it was just simply incorrect.

Normally I won't nitpick like this but this story is so good and offers so much I just felt compelled to comment in the hope that this story continues and possibly could be one of the best out there. Certainly It is top 3 material as is (in my humble opinion)

Artec

[Immune]

Thanks for the constructive criticism,

You're right about both points, the first one I was thinking of removing but I simply forgot about it. The second one... was also sort of forgetfulness. The swamps are indeed between Ignis and Syrtis (as in the game). The cold temperature was meant to be connected with the presence of the necromancer, though I neglected to build on with that.

I'm glad you pointed both of those out, it helps me to remember these kinds of things for the future.

Hope you and others keep reading, it's nice seeing how much some of you love this already.

[Dohni]

I love the story and how you are developing it. I made the connection betwen the battle and the cold and thought it was because of northern magic being performed.

I shed a tear for Gimli. I figure someone should remember him......sniff.


The story is very captivating and at the end of each chapter I want more. Which is a good thing.

[Isemon]

really nice story, can't wait for more
Gave you green karma :P

[Gytha_Ogg]

Good stuff, I love it! Moar pl0x!

Bois was right about the dump truck, but the other one I took differently:

the drop in temperature was something one would experience in northern Alsius.

I took it as having an implied

the drop in temperature was [unusual for this region, more like] something one would experience in northern Alsius.

so it worked for me.