Yet Another Horus Story

Godot · 08-16-2010, 04:21 AM

Godot woke on the shipwreck strewn shore.
The refuse of the pirate ship he was on littered the beach from end to end.
'where the hell am I?' he wondered, using the mush filling he substituted for a
brain brought on a crippling pain that prompted him to swear in several
languages out loud. "no more 8 martini lunches while driving a boat for me"
he promised himself. Noting the heat and dryness of the climate he briefly
pondered how an iceberg had happened into the vicinity to cause such a
disaster.

"Well at least there is one stroke of luck" he croaked; seeing the several
obviously unopened liquor casks stuck on the sand. Filling his 2 liter pocket flask as well as himself, he started toward what appeared to be a path at the
edge of the beach. No thought entered his mind except finding a way back
to Ignis.(not realizing he was indeed already in Ignis)

The old mans armor being waterlogged sagged at the leather joints, "this shits gonna ride up in the crotch when it dries" he lamented blandly.
After a goodly while of crawling and intermittent bouts of nausea, he pulled
himself upright and began to plod along in a stagger that would do justice to
palsied troll. He'd not been wandering long when he saw in the near distance
what appeared to be Nasraah Tej, yep, thats definitely Tej village.
"Better take the high road" thought G "no point in asking for trouble"
After bypassing Essadi and bribing his way into the Ignean inner Realm he
made a short stop in Altaruk to see if there were a mercenary billet available for a very short term stay, getting to the coast might prove difficult without
ready gold on hand. Standing at the rail of the town he saw a somewhat dark
barbarian dragging a hideous midget or perhaps a malformed child screaching at the top of his lungs "RESPECT ME OR I'LL REPORT YOU!!!" and "THIS IS THE RULER OF IGNIS!!!" G being ever respectful, disinterestedly picked his nose and flicked the profit at the mangey pair. Hitting the taller one G considered to be a sign of good fortune and walked away whistling "sunny side of the street".

After replenishing his meager supply pouch and flask in exchange for shoveling out the local stable he set out toward the Realm gate on his way to Menirah where often a ship could be found in need of an experienced hand.
Passing the Teleport of Shaanarid he saw what was obviosly a citizen of Alsius
carrying a bow and arrows, the stubby creature raised its hand and extended
the middle digit in the Alsian salute; G being a traveled fellow and knowing the proper response, kicked sand in its direction and shouted " UP YOURS"
with a look of suprise the stunted monstrosity blew him a kiss and shot an few arrows into G's paper mache ngd issue shield. Being an obvious stand off
if either went through the portal the short one turned and went his way.
G in no shape or disposition to give chase let him go.
"TELL YOUR MOTHER SHE OWES ME A DOLLAR" he shouted in fairwell.

Later after wandering like Moses in the desert, he happened upon the ruins of
the First Baptist Taco Stand Bar and Grill. Shaking his head in disgust he mumured "best damn eats in Ignis" and wiped a salty tear from his eye.
"but at least I know where I am now" passing the sand limit he found his way to the sea once again to see sails on the horizon......

VandaMan · 08-16-2010, 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Godot

Taco Stand

Fuck yeah.

Hamster_of_sorrow · 08-16-2010, 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Godot

the stubby creature raised its hand and extended
the middle digit in the Alsian salute

idk about you, but thats how i great every alsian (and syrtain for that matter). i say fairwell by placing my ball in their face (also known as tbagging).

Quote:

First Baptist Taco Stand Bar and Grill

bitchin'!!!!

Orimae · 08-18-2010, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Godot

The old mans armor being waterlogged sagged at the leather joints, "this shits gonna ride up in the crotch when it dries" he lamented blandly.

----------

"TELL YOUR MOTHER SHE OWES ME A DOLLAR" he shouted in fairwell.

Omg, that shit is funny, keep it up G

Nice visual on the first one

08-16-2010, 04:21 AM	#1
Godot Apprentice Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 91	Yet Another Horus Story Godot woke on the shipwreck strewn shore. The refuse of the pirate ship he was on littered the beach from end to end. 'where the hell am I?' he wondered, using the mush filling he substituted for a brain brought on a crippling pain that prompted him to swear in several languages out loud. "no more 8 martini lunches while driving a boat for me" he promised himself. Noting the heat and dryness of the climate he briefly pondered how an iceberg had happened into the vicinity to cause such a disaster. "Well at least there is one stroke of luck" he croaked; seeing the several obviously unopened liquor casks stuck on the sand. Filling his 2 liter pocket flask as well as himself, he started toward what appeared to be a path at the edge of the beach. No thought entered his mind except finding a way back to Ignis.(not realizing he was indeed already in Ignis) The old mans armor being waterlogged sagged at the leather joints, "this shits gonna ride up in the crotch when it dries" he lamented blandly. After a goodly while of crawling and intermittent bouts of nausea, he pulled himself upright and began to plod along in a stagger that would do justice to palsied troll. He'd not been wandering long when he saw in the near distance what appeared to be Nasraah Tej, yep, thats definitely Tej village. "Better take the high road" thought G "no point in asking for trouble" After bypassing Essadi and bribing his way into the Ignean inner Realm he made a short stop in Altaruk to see if there were a mercenary billet available for a very short term stay, getting to the coast might prove difficult without ready gold on hand. Standing at the rail of the town he saw a somewhat dark barbarian dragging a hideous midget or perhaps a malformed child screaching at the top of his lungs "RESPECT ME OR I'LL REPORT YOU!!!" and "THIS IS THE RULER OF IGNIS!!!" G being ever respectful, disinterestedly picked his nose and flicked the profit at the mangey pair. Hitting the taller one G considered to be a sign of good fortune and walked away whistling "sunny side of the street". After replenishing his meager supply pouch and flask in exchange for shoveling out the local stable he set out toward the Realm gate on his way to Menirah where often a ship could be found in need of an experienced hand. Passing the Teleport of Shaanarid he saw what was obviosly a citizen of Alsius carrying a bow and arrows, the stubby creature raised its hand and extended the middle digit in the Alsian salute; G being a traveled fellow and knowing the proper response, kicked sand in its direction and shouted " UP YOURS" with a look of suprise the stunted monstrosity blew him a kiss and shot an few arrows into G's paper mache ngd issue shield. Being an obvious stand off if either went through the portal the short one turned and went his way. G in no shape or disposition to give chase let him go. "TELL YOUR MOTHER SHE OWES ME A DOLLAR" he shouted in fairwell. Later after wandering like Moses in the desert, he happened upon the ruins of the First Baptist Taco Stand Bar and Grill. Shaking his head in disgust he mumured "best damn eats in Ignis" and wiped a salty tear from his eye. "but at least I know where I am now" passing the sand limit he found his way to the sea once again to see sails on the horizon...... __________________ There are 4 things you can never recover: The stone..after the throw. The word..after it's said. The occasion..after it's missed. The time..after it's gone.