Yasur's Horus story - Page 2

Immune · 01-30-2010, 05:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jethromt

“What the hell are you doing Terminator!” exclaimed Kon.
“Just testing gravity, yup its works so let’s say we head out”,

LOL... so that's what he sounds like.

As for the rest of the story, it was decent, but as has already been said, could use more detail. Also, if you plan on making more stories, it would make them more interesting if you came up with a storyline that continues from story to story, rather than random unrelated battles in each story. Good job for your first story.

Hamster_of_sorrow · 01-30-2010, 06:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Immune

LOL... so that's what he sounds like.

As for the rest of the story, it was decent, but as has already been said, could use more detail. Also, if you plan on making more stories, it would make them more interesting if you came up with a storyline that continues from story to story, rather than random unrelated battles in each story. Good job for your first story.

not even close to what he sounds like. he is russian and speaks very little english so its usually something like "HELLO!! MY NICE AND HERIOIC IGNIS CLAN!!! XD"

jethromt · 01-30-2010, 08:35 AM

yea termi is like wut hamster said but in clan chat he can say stuff like that
and actually he speaks quite good english.yes il try keep this story alive but like i said its just a starter for me.

cheers
Yasur

Altara · 01-30-2010, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hamster_of_sorrow

not even close to what he sounds like. he is russian and speaks very little english so its usually something like "HELLO!! MY NICE AND HERIOIC IGNIS CLAN!!! XD"

Hamster your wrong on some of that a correct version:
"HELLO !! MY NICE AND HERIOIC IGNIS CLAN !!! "
there we go

/me is on Team Termi

WhateverUSMC · 01-30-2010, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jethromt

...he done a epic kick to the nuts followed by the hammer on the head.

This made up for the crappy week I just went through. Seriously, great job.

Godot · 02-01-2010, 10:06 AM

It needs bewbies.
and a snake, yes; bewbies and a snake would make a better story.
and a car chase (if one blows up, even better)
and if you can add a Jedi or a ninja its WIN.
YTMND

Hamster_of_sorrow · 02-01-2010, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Godot

It needs bewbies.
and a snake, yes; bewbies and a snake would make a better story.
and a car chase (if one blows up, even better)
and if you can add a Jedi or a ninja its WIN.
YTMND

LMAO!!!

i was thinking of writing my own story but idk if it could contain that kind of awesomeness. it would just be out of boredom anyway.
i MIGHT be able to sneak in a ninja (no pun intended) but a car chase... doubtful

bois · 02-01-2010, 08:58 PM

Great job Yas, keep it up.

I can't wait for the next instalment!

Artec

Mrreality13 · 02-01-2010, 11:57 PM

good job yasur
was a fun lil read
now go grind

01-30-2010, 08:35 AM	#13
jethromt Pledge Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: new zealand Posts: 1	yea termi is like wut hamster said but in clan chat he can say stuff like that and actually he speaks quite good english.yes il try keep this story alive but like i said its just a starter for me. cheers Yasur __________________ yasur

02-01-2010, 11:57 PM	#19
Mrreality13 Apprentice Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: in a NOMAM meeting atm Posts: 82	good job yasur was a fun lil read now go grind __________________ never approach a computer thinking"this will just take a minute"-- 59 barb- main//conj 50 parked//40 knight parked

02-01-2010, 10:06 AM	#16
Godot Apprentice Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 91	It needs bewbies. and a snake, yes; bewbies and a snake would make a better story. and a car chase (if one blows up, even better) and if you can add a Jedi or a ninja its WIN. YTMND

02-01-2010, 08:58 PM	#18
bois Count Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Trinidad and Tobago Posts: 1,194	Great job Yas, keep it up. I can't wait for the next instalment! Artec